Japanese Etiquette

[Yuzuki Asahina]

Japanese Etiquette

By acting in a correct manner you achieve universal understanding and a sense of the ideal Japanese culture. Basic rules for everyday life apply in Japan as well as other countries simply to magnify one’s organization and maintain a chaos-free environment.



Visiting A Temple



When visiting a Temple you must show your respect by making a short prayer in front of the sacred object by throwing a coin into the offering box, followed by your short prayer. When entering temple buildings, you may be required to take off your shoes which should be left on the shelves at the entrance or take them with you in plastic bags provided at some temples.



Visiting A Shrine



You are not supposed to visit a shrine if you are sick, have an open wound or are mourning because these are considered causes of impurity. When you get to the shrine entrance, there will be a purification fountain close by. Take one of the ladles supplied and fill it with fresh water; rinse both of your hands after you are done. After that, transfer some of the water into your cupped hand and rinse your mouth, afterwards spitting the water beside the fountain. You are not supposed to transfer the water directly from the ladle into your mouth or swallow the water at all; you have been warned! At the offering hall, throw a coin into the offering box, bow deeply twice, clap your hands twice, bow deeply once more and pray for only a few seconds. If you see any type of gong then you should use it before praying in order to get the Kami's attention.



Table Manners



In Japan it is more traditional to have low tables and cushions on the floor in restaurants and private homes, rather than Western style chairs and tables. In Japan, you say "itadakimasu" ("I gratefully receive") before eating, and "gochisosama (deshita)" ("Thank you for the meal") after finishing the meal. When drinking alcoholic beverages, it is customary to serve each other, rather than pouring your own beverage therefore you must periodically check your friends' cups and refill their drinks if their cups are getting empty. It is more polite if you start drinking until everybody at the table is served and the glasses are raised for a drinking salute, which usually is "kampai". PLEASE avoid using "chin chin" when drinking a toast, since in Japanese this expression refers to the male genitals. Blowing your nose in public, and especially at the table, is considered very bad manners, so DON’T do it. What you can do is empty your dishes to the last grain of rice. After eating, try to move all your dishes back to the same position they were at the start of the mea, including replacing the lids on dishes and putting your chopsticks on the chopstick holder or back into their paper slip.



Chopsticks



Chopsticks are used to eat most kinds of Japanese and foods, with some exceptions such as miso soup. Knives and forks are used for Western food only but sthingys may be used with certain Japanese dishes such as donburi or Japanese style curry rice. Some important rules to remember are:

-Hold your chopsticks towards their end, not in the middle or the front third.
-When you are not using your chopsticks, or have finished eating, lay them down in front of you with the tips to left.
-Do not pass food directly from your chopsticks to another's because this is a funeral tradition that involves the bones of a cremated body.
-Do not spear food with your chopsticks.
-Do not point with your chopsticks.
-Do not wave your chopsticks around in the air or play with them. (You might poke someone’s eyes out!!)
-If you have already eaten with your chopsticks, use the opposite end to take food from a shared plate, this way you do not contaminate anyone’s food with your germs.



Dining Out



As soon as you enter a restaurant you are greeted with the expression "irasshaimase" which means "please come in" or "welcome". Waiters and waitresses are trained to be very efficient, polite and attentive, and will usually immediately lead you to your table, however if they don't then it is safe to assume that it is okay to sit at any table. After you sit down, a glass of water or tea will be served for free and later refilled and you also receive a wet towel (oshibori) for cleaning your hands. Chopsticks are either already set beforehand or you may find some in a box on the table. After you finish your meal, the bill will be presented upside down (sometimes you will receive the bill as the meal is presented). Tipping in Japan is not common or expected and the staff may chase you out of the restaurant in order to give back any money left behind., hence instead of money payment it is polite to say "gochisosama deshita" ("thank you for the meal") when leaving.



Sitting Techniques and Rules



Some people are not used to sitting on the floor, however, in Japan sitting upright on the floor is common in many situations for example, meals are traditionally held on a tatami floor around a low table. Sitting on the floor is also customary and habitual during the tea ceremony and other traditional events. The formal way of sitting for both genders is kneeling (seiza). The most important guest sits on the honored seat (kamiza) which is located farthest from the entrance. If there is a tokonoma in the room, the guest is usually seated in front of it. The host or least important person is supposed to sit next to the entrance (shimoza).



Greeting



In Japan, people greet each other by bowing, it’s natural. A bow ranges from a small nod of the head to a long, 90 degree bend at the waist. When bowing to someone of higher social status, a deeper, longer bow indicates respect. A small head nod is considered casual and informal however, most Japanese do not expect foreigners to know proper bowing rules and so a nod of the head is usually sufficient. It is also common to bow as an expression of either a thanks, to apologize, or to ask someone a favor. Shaking hands is uncommon among the Japanese, but then again, exceptions are made for foreigners.



Superstition



In Japan there are certain things one does not do because they are thought to cause bad luck. A few examples are:

- The number four is considered ill-fated because it is pronounced the same as the word for death (shi). Therefore, one should not make presents that consist of four pieces, etc. In some hotels and hospitals the room number four is skipped.
- Do not stick your chopsticks into your food, especially not into rice, because at funerals chopsticks are stuck into the rice which is put onto the altar.
-Don’t give food from chopstick to chopstick because this is only done with the bones of the cremated body at funerals.
- Do not sleep towards the North because bodies are laid down like that.
-If a funeral car passes you should hide your thumb.
- If you cut your nails at night, you will not be with your parents when they die.
- If you lie down immediately after eating, you will become a cow.
- If you whistle in the night, a snake will come to you or burglars will come into your house to steal something.
- The belief that black cats crossing the street in front of you cause bad luck.

In many shrines, temples and souvenir shops, amulets are sold that are supposed to bring luck, safety or good fortune. There are amulets for money, health, love, success on exams, safety on the streets, etc. Small pieces of paper (omikuji) that predict your future are also available. These pieces of paper are tied around the branch of a tree after reading; either to make the good fortune come true or to avoid the predicted bad fortune.